IS IT TIME TO DROP YOUR BEST FRIEND?
You’ve been in the situation before. You look at the person in front of you and think; what the heck am I doing? Why am I friends with such a pompous, ungrateful, selfish brat? Then, realization sinks in. You “fell” into the friendship; just like you fell in love with that “Urkel” looking neighbor of yours. You can’t stand the fact that she talks about herself all day long. You detest her self-centered blog. You hate her friends. But you think, “Oh how can I let her go, I’ve been friends with her since 7th grade.” Therein lies the problem. Guilt.
Well, you’ve come to the right place, Internet. Here, you will learn how to apply the Four Part Test to your friendship and make a decision on whether to drop the level of friendship to that of only an acquaintance.
Anytime you even think of whether the so called friend in front of you deserves your friendship, you should apply the Four Part Test.
Part One: Is it a two way street?
This is important because of the existence of “vampires” in society. I know you’re thinking, “This dude is just about to put in some sort of Twilight movie parallel”. Wrong. The “vampires” I am referring to are people who suck the life out of you. Most of us have had at least one such friend. The type who takes every bit of energy out of you and leaves you deflated like a 10 day old balloon. Yes Josie, you high maintenance wench, I am talking about you!! Sorry, just a little shout out to my ex-girlfriend. So, it is critical for a lasting friendship, for it to be a two-way street. You should be able to tell them about the events of your life and have them listen to you, and you, in turn, should listen and support them. Simple? You’d be surprised how many lop-sided friendships there are all around.
Part Two: Can you count on them?
This could be THE true test of friendship. When you stumble out from Eddie’s place and cannot find your car, either because you are seeing triple or because you thought that handicap parking doesn’t count after 8 pm, who are you going to call? You know you can’t call Mom, because she’ll never give you the down payment for the new car you probably will need. You can’t call your cousin Joe the plumber, who is probably on a late night rooter call. If you answered your friend’s name, congratulations, you have a bond that is invaluable. Just make sure that friend has access to bail money.
Part Three: Do you like them?
Now you’re probably going, “what kind of question is that?” If you are asking that question, then count yourself lucky because you haven’t had to misfortune of having a friend who you absolutely hate. You’d be surprised how many such “friendships” exist, where the relationship is like a page out of War of the Roses. The bottom line is, what are you doing having the friendship if you don’t like the person at all?
Part Four: Are they a positive influence in your life?
This is a macro look at the entire friendship. Is the friendship helping you grow as a person, or is it dragging you down? Surrounding yourselves with positive, upbeat people will undoubtedly give you a lift when you most need it. Does the person treat you like you are valuable? If not, it is time to let it go.
The final step is to look at the result of the Four Part Test and come to a conclusion. If the person passes three out of the four tests, the friendship may be worth salvaging. Sometimes a friend may not pass all four tests but that friend may be a good influence in your life, regardless. If they fail two or more tests, it may be time to bid them farewell.
If you're depressed about dropping your friend, maybe this video may help you cope.
